The Unwatchable Sport

I guess it’s been way too long since I wrote a post since I’ve got friends e-mailing me asking when the next update is coming. Well here it is, in all its lack of glory.

The big thing over the past couple of weeks has been the World Cup. Even though it has been over for a week, the talk is still about the head butt. There have even been articles about it on Page 2 on espn.com. It wasn’t quite Artest going into the stands, but it definitely made the game exciting.

That leads me to the title of my post. We went over to a friend of a friend’s place to watch the England quarterfinal match against Portugal. There hadn’t been an opportunity to watch a full match on a real TV (Internet viewing leaves a lot to be desired), so we were looking forward to it. Plus, there were going to be grilled hamburgers, so Wife was definitely excited.

Viewing conditions weren’t optimal since we wanted to enjoy the nice weather by sitting in the garden. This required the TV to be wheeled to the back door which caused the sun to wash out the picture a little, but it was still better than a 320x240 pixel internet feed.

I think it was about halfway through the first half when Wife and I realized that the first half wasn’t close to over and we were already bored. In the game’s defense our friends who actually know soccer said it was an awful game, but we were just completely bored. And this went on for 120 minutes plus some arbitrary number of extra time minutes that the referee decided they needed to play. Even after all that nobody had scored. The only thing interesting that had happened was a Portuguese player had gotten stepped on (in the groin) leading to the best English player shoving another Portuguese player and getting ejected.

In the end England lost because their players couldn’t kick a ball into the ocean from a boat when it comes to penalties.

Now I will be the first to admit that the subtlety of the game is completely lost on me, so I won’t claim to understand the game completely. But to me it seems like the game of close but not quite. So many times the players would break away from their defender only to make a pass that was just a little ahead of the player breaking to the goal.

I guess I could find myself watching soccer more often, but I think it will be similar to how the Sports Guy watches it: be doing something else and then look up when the announcers’ voices become agitated or excited. That way I can catch all the good bits and skip all the “action” around midfield.

Wife would like me to point out that she still likes it even if she couldn’t make it all the way through final without flipping through the channels occasionally. The drama of grown men (aka: the Italians) acting like they’ve been hit by a sledgehammer when anyone from the opposing side looks at them funny appeals to her soap opera appreciation side.

That should about cover soccer (football). I’d write about cricket but I don’t have a clue what the heck is going on in that sport. It’s incomprehensible.

Cheers,
Frog